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| 27 year old Registered Dietitian and Dehydration Diet Advocate |
Certified Clinical Nutritionists have moved to have the diet
stricken from the American Dietetic Association (ADA). “If it was banned, it’d be a real kick in
the pants,” a legal representative for the ADA,
Evans Banister, said. “Follow the numbers, they add up fast. Interns are happy
because they don’t have to spend so much time monitoring patients. It’s a real
boost for the bottom line.” “Please, give me some water,” responded patient
Eleanor Degrada, 83.
While the dehydration diet has been phased out due to the backlash
in lawsuits, Registered Dietitians continue to espouse the benefits of the
fast-but-dangerous fad. “The body is made of 70% water,” Gretchen Aldo, RD,
reported. “That means a 200 pound person who successfully completes the
dehydration diet can get down to 60 pounds.” “I don’t think that’s such a good
idea,” said a 5’1, 210lb. mother of four before being
strapped down by four orderlies and sedated.
“The key is to not give in to their selfish desires that will only
take them away from their goal.” reported Registered Dietitian Angela Abraham.
When asked why the 83 year old elderly lady was put on the diet, Evan Banister
responded, “There were a number of factors that went into that decision like
age, gender and the fact that Eleanor doesn’t have medical insurance.” A
subsequent attempt for a response was not possible as three hours later, Ms.
Degrada died of dehydration.
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