For a while Dr. Price was really excited. “Yeah, it’s totally symmetrical and capable of all kinds of practical applications,” Dr. Price told a group of curious female PhD students. Then the day of the unveiling occurred. “Uh, Nick,” a startled colleague pointed out in front of the entire department. “That’s just a wheel.”

It took Dr. Price a minute to process that what he invented has already been in existence for thousands of years. “I felt sorry for him,” Department head, Bob Odom, later reported. “But what could I say? I mean, it probably could be used to transport beakers and other lab equipment, but then he’d have to make three more.”

When the futility of his quest was fully realized, a frustrated Dr. Price finally spoke. “SHIT, SHIT, DOUBLE SHIT,” he said before a stunned group of colleagues. “14 fucking years down the drain,” he added. Sociologist Bill Hammel assessed the situation. “Dr. Price’s reaction is not unlike other colleagues who were either scooped in their invention or just accidentally reinvented something, like in this case. Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t hang himself.” Dr. Price was last seen at McHoney’s, a sports bar and grill, ordering a round of tequila shots for himself and three female patrons.